Hello Everybody, (Lesson 8)

     Wow...PRIDE...that is a big word with only five letters that encompasses so much. In my life, I have always had to work diligently on not being prideful. My needs to be independent and to be "right" often outweigh my Christlike desires to be personally flexible and somewhat reliant on others. As a young single adult, I read "Beware of Pride" by Ezra Taft Benson for the fist time, and I remember thinking, "Why are people so prideful, and what can I do to abandon pride?" I also remember that I had already identified one aspect of pride in my own character, which was to be looking up from the bottom and judging those with more money, more influence, and more popularity. This was my way of dealing with many years of unkindness brought upon me by people with those very traits. I have had to repent over the years for allowing these thoughts to linger in my mind and heart.

     In the twenty years that have followed my young single adult years, I have allowed even more pride to enter my life. Sadly, I have succumbed to many of the vices President Benson described.

"Another face of pride is contention. Arguments, fights, unrighteous dominion, generation gaps, divorces, spouse abuse, riots, and disturbances all fall into this category of pride.

Contention in our families drives the Spirit of the Lord away. It also drives many of our family members away. Contention ranges from a hostile spoken word to worldwide conflicts. The scriptures tell us that “only by pride cometh contention.” 

The scriptures testify that the proud are easily offended and hold grudges. (See 1 Ne. 16:1–3.) They withhold forgiveness to keep another in their debt and to justify their injured feelings.

The antidote for pride is humility—meekness, submissiveness. (See Alma 7:23.) It is the broken heart and contrite spirit. (See 3 Ne. 9:20; 3 Ne. 12:19; D&C 20:37; D&C 59:8; Ps. 34:18; Isa. 57:15; Isa. 66:2.)"

    I have allowed my pride, in the form of contention, to affect my children. I have taken opportunities to teach them not to "fight and quarrel with one another" as we learn in the Book of Mormon, but I have not been completely diligent in my teachings nor in my example. I love peaceful moments, but I struggle so very much with quieting my tongue and not being offended. Except unto the Lord, I actually sicken at the thought of being submissive to anyone. It is in this manner which I have become so independent. This fierce independence has kept me from relying on the counsel of my husband, it has kept me somewhat at an arm's length from him since I do not want to be submissive (in appropriate ways), and contrition never has place when I feel constantly "right."

     Some of my goals for the next year are to continue with the exercises on our Gottman book in learning to yield. He teaches, "Accepting influence is an attitude, but it's also a skill that you can hone if you pay attention to how you relate to your spouse" (126). Quoting from Goddard, "The natural man is inclined to love himself and fix others. God has asked us to do the opposite. We are to fix ourselves by repenting, and to love others."

     I surely have my work cut out for me, yet I am excited to know the truth as revealed by our Heavenly Father.

With love,

Katie