Hello Everyone, (Lesson 6)

     In my Family 300 course, we are studying two very profound books: The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, Ph.D. and Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage by H. Wallace Goddard, Ph.D. I have been in need of the counsel that comes from both of these books for many years, but I am grateful that they have come into my life at a point wherein I am truly ready to receive them and to experiment upon their challenges. I have actually decided that I want to purchase a bunch of both and give them as wedding gifts. I read a lot, and I know that these two books are something special!

     Last week in our Gottman book, we learned, "Friendship fuels the flames of romance because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial toward your spouse" (22). Common sense admits that married couples mostly started out as friends, lest why would they marry? There are some exceptions of course, but in our Western world, it is common for people to say or to announce, "I am marrying my best friend." I feel true joy for others when they are able to rejoice in the bliss and beauty of marrying their very best friend: especially if it is for time and eternity.

     As we continue to be true friends in marriage, we will do as Wallace Goddard encourages, "We show our willingness to rescue our spouse by giving up our tiny preferences in favor of our spouse's blessing" (36). I have allowed that to sink deep into my heart this week and have formulated a number of questions for myself.

• If my BFF who lives in Phoenix was in serious disagreement with me about something, how long would I insist on being "right"?
• If I were dating my husband instead of having been married for twenty years, would I be so persnickety with him?
• If my Mom, who is my other BFF, needed me to drop all I was doing to be right over, would I do it...NOW?

        These are all rhetorical questions; I know that I would give up on being "right" to preserve my friendship, I would be more patient with my husband, and I would go to my Mom's aid. The point has been made throughout our readings this week that in order for us to truly have the relationships we really desire, we must sacrifice ourselves and ultimately live daily with a desire to act opon the will of the Lord. 

     As I strive to do better and to be better, I will continue to share these life-changing truths with others both verbally and in this blog. Most of all, I desire to share through my THOUGHTS and ACTIONS toward my husband that my learning is making a difference.

Sincerely,

Katie