Hello Everyone, (Lesson 6)

     In my Family 300 course, we are studying two very profound books: The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, Ph.D. and Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage by H. Wallace Goddard, Ph.D. I have been in need of the counsel that comes from both of these books for many years, but I am grateful that they have come into my life at a point wherein I am truly ready to receive them and to experiment upon their challenges. I have actually decided that I want to purchase a bunch of both and give them as wedding gifts. I read a lot, and I know that these two books are something special!

     Last week in our Gottman book, we learned, "Friendship fuels the flames of romance because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial toward your spouse" (22). Common sense admits that married couples mostly started out as friends, lest why would they marry? There are some exceptions of course, but in our Western world, it is common for people to say or to announce, "I am marrying my best friend." I feel true joy for others when they are able to rejoice in the bliss and beauty of marrying their very best friend: especially if it is for time and eternity.

     As we continue to be true friends in marriage, we will do as Wallace Goddard encourages, "We show our willingness to rescue our spouse by giving up our tiny preferences in favor of our spouse's blessing" (36). I have allowed that to sink deep into my heart this week and have formulated a number of questions for myself.

• If my BFF who lives in Phoenix was in serious disagreement with me about something, how long would I insist on being "right"?
• If I were dating my husband instead of having been married for twenty years, would I be so persnickety with him?
• If my Mom, who is my other BFF, needed me to drop all I was doing to be right over, would I do it...NOW?

        These are all rhetorical questions; I know that I would give up on being "right" to preserve my friendship, I would be more patient with my husband, and I would go to my Mom's aid. The point has been made throughout our readings this week that in order for us to truly have the relationships we really desire, we must sacrifice ourselves and ultimately live daily with a desire to act opon the will of the Lord. 

     As I strive to do better and to be better, I will continue to share these life-changing truths with others both verbally and in this blog. Most of all, I desire to share through my THOUGHTS and ACTIONS toward my husband that my learning is making a difference.

Sincerely,

Katie

I AM A MEMBER OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS, AND OUR STAKE (AREA) IS BEING BLESSED WITH A TEMPLE!!!!

Hello Everybody!!! (Lesson 4)

     This past weekend was the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Salt Lake City, Utah. I have never been there in person before, but I was very blessed, along with my oldest son, to be able to attend in person. The weekend was absolutely amazing, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be taught about the importance of marriage and family; the importance of gospel teaching in the home. Additionally, I am exceedingly thankful for the Prophet's (Russell M. Nelson) closing announcements regarding temples...12 of them throughout the world, ONE OF WHICH WAS ANNOUNCED FOR OUR AREA IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA!!! The blessing of being able to actually be there when the temple was announced is really indescribable... it can pretty much only be felt.

     Three segments of my life are coming together as a whole this week:

• My  Family 300 course, which I have been blogging about
• My Institute class (Foundations of the Restoration)
• General Conference

    We have been studying about the Kirtland and Nauvoo temples in Institute, and President Nelson announced all the newest temples, and we read this quote by Ezra Taft Benson, "In the peace of theses lovely temples, sometimes we find solutions to the serious problems of life. Under the influence of the Spirit, sometimes pure knowledge flows to us there. Temples are places of personal revelation." I ABSOLUTELY know this to be true and am very excited to invite friends and neighbors to the open house of our future temple. 

     I am learning this week the importance of teaching my children more intently regarding the temple and temple covenants. I tend to just go along my way, testifying more through my actions than through my words. However, I am seeing the great wisdom and necessity of also testifying through my words. It is like unto how when we bear our testimonies for others to hear, not only are others blessed, but we are as well. I desire to love my family more fervently, and I know that as I attend and serve in the temple of God, that love will become what I desire because it is what Heavenly Father desires. Time and time again throughout my life, I have learned that family is the most important "thing," person/people, event, job, hobby, goal, and/or endeavor EVER, EVER, EVER. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, gave His life so that we may return to Him, together with our families. He has made it possible for us to be sealed as spouses and children; He has made it possible for our children to return to us though they may stray; He has made it possible for us to experience eternal joy. To the Lord, I am eternally grateful!

Love,

Katie

photo credit: lds.org, Salt Lake Temple

Hello Friends!  (Lesson 3)

 I am richly blessed with friends who are willing to share their honest views on issues, though they may differ from mine. I have shared this story time and time again, but my closest friend's (Michelle) husband has long asked, in regards to Michelle's and my friendship "How can the two of you get along so well and believe so differently?" Our answer: "Why not?" Additionally, we have come to find in our twenty years of friendship, that we are not really that different! 

     I openly welcome opportunities to share what I believe as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints, thus the birth of this very blog many years ago. I truly appreciate this opportunity to be more educated regarding the rulings of Obergefell v.Hodges,the decision of the Supreme Court to make legal same-sex marriages, which I have never taken the opportunity to read. Having the opportunity to study the reasoning from the majority as well as the wisdom of those who dissented brought up many points which I had considered in the past but had never exactly been able to put words to. For instance, it is typical of friends who believe differently than me concerning same-sex marriage to cite how we are closed-minded or unable to accept that others with a different view of marriage are able to receive health benefits...etc.  

     Most of all, I value Roberts' assessment: "The fundamental right to marry does not include a right to make a state change its definition of marriage." And why, the majority did not see the connection with one of their closing remarks, I do not understand. The majority stated, "Marriage is the foundation of the family and of society, without which there would be neither civilization or progress." This remark could very well be an argument for heterosexual marriages, except for the context in which is is used. 

     In my life, I strive to live as (then) Elder Nelson counseled, "The future of marriage and of countless human lives will be determined by your willingness to bear solemn witness of the Lord and live according to His gospel." THIS I KNOW AND THIS I DO.

With Love,

Katie

References: Nelson, Russell. Disciples of Jesus Christ - Defenders of Marriage.Aug 2014                          BYU Speeeches. 

                    Obergefell v.Hodges, 576 U.S. (2015). Supreme Court of the United States.