Grieving is a process, not an event

I am learning that grieving is a process. When Malden died on Thursday, I truly felt like my deepest hurts were over, and though my pain came from the very depths of my heart and the inner-most part of my soul, yesterday I began learning that the pain takes on new form. I was doing pretty good on Friday morning thanks to all of the phone calls, prayers and hugs...THANK YOU ALL. By Friday evening, I was feeling very down and was in an extremely unsocial mood, but I had made previous commitments to be at a school function and was given the opportunity to be somewhat social. Before long, I removed myself from the group and sought solace outside in the relative quiet to read a book. After awhile, a dear friend came along and helped me talk things out. As is often the Lord's way, He sent a person who has been through an extraordinary amount of grief to remind me that I can always help to lift another's burden even when I feel that mine is great, I know that over the course of her life, hers has been truly sacrificial. It is to her and to others I have recently spoken with who have lost children that I dedicate the following to: (By a tender mercy of the Lord, on the same day that Malden died, I had checked out a book titled Dog Heaven, written and illustrated by Cynthia Rylant, thinking I would read it to D and M to help prepare them for Tino's eventual death, little knowing that I would need it that very day for a very different circumstance and for my best dog: I just read it with D and M tonight). Here are two pages of text from the book Dog Heaven to the above mentioned women: "[In heaven] there are children, of course. Angel children. God knows that dogs love children more than anything else in the world, so He fills Dog Heaven with plenty of them. There are children on bikes and children on sleds. There are children throwing red rubber balls and children pulling kites through the clouds. The dogs are there, and the children love them dearly."
And because I know that Don's and my parents are grieving the loss of Malden as well, this is dedicated to them, especially Papa: (this is also from the book Dog Heaven) " And, oh, the dog biscuits. Biscuits and biscuits as far as the eye can see. God has a sense of humor, so He makes His biscuits in funny shapes for His dogs. There are kitty-cat biscuits and squirrel biscuits. Ice-cream biscuits and ham-sandwich biscuits." Everytime Don's parents come to visit, they have always brought at least one box of dog biscuits for the dogs but of course would always run out in the week's time they are here and would have to go buy more. Malden and Tino know Papa as the bearer of all good treats, and although Malden barks at every car that comes into our driveway, he would stop barking the moment he realized it was the treat man, which I find amazing since he only saw Don's Dad 1-2 times a year. And then there is my Mom who, most every time she comes over, brings biscuits for the dogs...Malden always knew when she had one more in her pocket and would sit obediently, though impatiently, at her feet for the last one.
To anybody who has ever loved a dog: "Dogs in Dog Heaven have almost always belonged to somebody on Earth and, of course, the dogs remember this. HEAVEN IS FULL OF MEMORIES. (That part made me cry) So sometimes an angel will walk a dog back to Earth for a little visit and quietly, invisibly, the dog will sniff about his old backyard, will investigate the cat next door, will follow the child to school (MOM...RUSTY), will sit on teh front porch and wait for the mail. When he is satified that all is well, the dog will return to Heaven with the angel. It is where dogs belong, near God who made them."
To anybody who has ever "rescued" a dog (I put it in quotations because they are really the ones who rescue us, just like I discussed with GB one day about the horses): "The dogs in Dog Heaven who had no real homes on Earth are given one in Heaven. The homes have yards and porches and there are couches to lie on and tables to sit under while angels eat their dinners. There are special bowls with the dogs' names on them. And each dog is petted and reminded how good he is, all day long. Dogs in Dog Heaven may stay as long as they like and this can mean forever. They will be there when old friends show up. THEY WILL BE THERE AT THE DOOR."

Thank you, thank you all for you patience with and prayers for me. Love, K