My Ockadoodle Car!

I was going to be boring and title this blog "December" since it is my FIRST DECEMBER ENTRY and I only blogged once in November...lame!! But I wanted to write two hilarious things about L and this blog title reminded me of one of them. We recently acquired an orange couch from my friend: thanks GB!! The couch came with an ottoman, and since bringing it home, I do not think it has been in the same spot for any more than 24 hours at a time!! It has been a space ship (Buzz Lightyear's vehicle), a table for tea parties and the best... the "ocadoodle car!" It actually means "Cockadoodle car, but L pronounces it without the "C." I really do not know where that name came from... kinda like when I was sitting on his "ockadoodle" months ago!!! The other funny thing: last week at church while all was quiet, L said loudly, "But I like to pick my nose!" There is a couple who has sat in front of us for years, Bob and Penny S who absolutely crack up at every funny thing L and R have said over the years during church. Watching them laugh is almost as funny as the actual reason for laughing.
Some super events transpired during my lack of writing: Don's parents came to visit for almost two weeks, and then in the first week of December, Don had his Birthday. So those are my topics for next blog!!

With Christmas joy and love to all of you, Katie

November

Wow, already one week into wonderful November!! November is, for me one entire month into the holiday season: and I get to decorate with all of the beautiful fall items. Also, on November 1st, I start listenting to Christmas music full force. Yes, Michelle, I do listen to Christmas music all year, but November 1st marks the official sometimes all day Christmas music fest. Don and I also got out our huge plastic storage tub filled with Christmas books and movies the other day and have enjoyed one Christmas movie so far. D and M's favorite Christmas book this year is the one that Mom and Dad K gave them last year for Christmas in which they read The Night Before Christmas in their own voices and the book recorded it. M is so cute: he often talks to the book and says, "Hi Papa" or "I like this story Gram." Oh yesterday, he said the funniest thing!! We were getting ready to eat supper at Mom and Dad L's and M said to D, "I'm going to cut you with my "poon." (That means spoon) Mom thought it was funny that he thought he could cut anybody with a spoon, and I thought it was funny the way he pronounced it.

So the Lord really blessed me with the book CAPTIVATING: I read it in one week and one day and then passed it to a friend to read. Although I told her to take her time, I can hardly wait to get it back so I can read it again. I did write very meaningful passages down in my journal which I keep pouring over. There are so many amazing things I learned and am still letting it all sink in. Also, there is a new song by Mercy Me which is blessing my soul, it is titled "Beautiful" and I will post the words and some links in my next post.

For now, here is a quote from www.myoneword.org "God has equipped you with gifts and passions that He wants you to use to make His name known. Trust God will be faithful to lead us and put us in places where we will be useful to fulfilling those purposes."

Love to you all, Katie

Pumpkin Farm Visit #3 (two days ago)

Yep...the best visit this season!!! Can't get enough of the yummy fall smells, the pumpkins and all of the animals and children!!! Watching my own children, nieces and nephews, friends and other children and people at the pumpkin farm reminds me of all that is good in life: all that is beautiful and virtuous. All that is lasting. This time we were there until dark, and the sunset was BEAUTIFUL, ROMANTIC. Some faint storm clouds adding to the beauty, with the anticipation of rain wild in my heart.

This time, we went to celebrate D's BDay and had a small party with family and MD. Because it was a BDay celebration, we got to do some things we do not usually do when we go: instead of choosing one activity, we did two: the train ride and the big slides. We also got to eat the yummy food: Don had pizza, I had a corn dog, D had nachos and M had a hot dog. I also got to visit the gift shop this time: I had been keeping myself away from there on our other visits, just waiting for this trip. Fortunately, I did not find anything I really wanted to purchase: last year they had some really adorable art work that I wanted to purchase for our home but I had not saved up any money at the time. This year, I went with the amount I had saved, but kept in mind a book I wanted to purchase at the Christian book store, which I purchased today. The title is CAPTIVATING, and I feel so strongly that it is for me right now.

Here is a quote from the book: "Sometime between the dreams of your youth and yesterday, something precious has been lost. And that treasure is your heart, your priceless feminine heart. God has set within you a femininity that is powerful and tender, fierce and alluring. No doubt it has been misunderstood. Surely it has been assaulted. But it is there, your true heart, and it is worth recovering. You ARE captivating."

WOW

Love to all, Katie

Beautiful Day

On Saturday, GB and I got to go for a trail ride on horseback around a BEAUTIFUL lake in the hills. It has been years since I was on a trail ride, and it was so relaxing!! Horses are truly in my heart, and though I cannot take them "everywhere" with me like I can my dogs, they are very meaningful to me and bless me with healing. The horse I rode, Scout, was wonderful and funny. While we were eating lunch on the side of the trail, the horses kept hearing noises like pinecones falling and would turn to look, while making funny facial expressions: Scout was super funny because his one blue eye makes him all the more personable. When we were almost done eating, G's horse scooted to the side of the path and we were trying to figure out what he was doing when he started peeing. We both laughed so hard because he literally moved to the side of the path instead of going right in the middle. He has good manners!!

Being on a horse and talking with a wonderful friend is such a peaceful way to spend and afternoon. I reccommend it to all of you, even if you have to rent a horse.

Thank you GB!!!

Love you all, K

Pumpkin Farm Visit #2

Our visit to the Pumpkin Farm on Wednesday with Scouts was really nice! I felt grateful that day for other Mothers who helped eventhough it wasn't their "job." Trying to drive a group of boys in a car with 5 seats is impossible, especially with 3 of my seats already full.

We took a different route at the Pumpkin Farm, gooing to see the animals first, then going on the hay ride to look at all of the giant pumpkins way out in the field. The weather was perfect: fall like but without rain. We did a couple of more things before leaving, including choosing a little pumpkin each: there were little white ones and small orange ones, then some funny tri colored ones that looked more like squashes than pumpkins. I liked the tri colored, but for the boys, standard orange prevailed. One of our boys, CO, who is the most grateful boy in our pack was polite as always and was sure to thank me for the trip and for driving him. Our youngest Bear was happy to be there with the other boys. Then we have the peas in a pod who can sing Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas with perfection: and pretty much every time I see them, I ask them to sing it. JH and NB and D are the other three buddies, running wherever they go and usually the most observant of all the boys. I treasure my time and teaching with all of these amazing children.

Our next planned trip to the pumpkin farm will be to celebrate D's Birthday: I am really excited. But who knows, there could be a surprise unplanned trip anytime before or after that!!

With love to all on this Sabbath day, I'm off to WATCH Music and the Spoken Word, Love, K

Pumpkin Farm Visit #1

WOOOHOOO!!!

Yesterday was our first visit to the pumpkin farm this season!! And I can hardly wait for our next trip tomorrow, which is sure to be full of it's own discoveries and newness!! Yesterday, we got to go with GB and her boys as well as D's best friend. It was so fun hearing the boys talk in the car on the way there about the things that boys talk about. Yep, they did talk about Diary Of A Wimpy Kid and Pokemon, but thankfully not about any of the archenemy girls at school!!!

Sure enough, the weather was gorgeous; first we looked at all of the animals: the mama pig with her adorable, all different colored, babies. Then we petted and fed the sweet goats that never seem to get enough food... yeah right! And then we were coming out of the goat pen when I turned around and saw a long time friend, DJ, who I have not seen in years. He and his family recently moved closer, which I did not know, so seeing them totally took me by welcome surprise: seeing friends of the heart is always a blessing. Oh, that reminds me of something that GB, my little girl who I get to care for on Wednesday and Friday said the other day. We were driving in the car with KB, the youngest son of my other friend, GB, when the little GB said what I heard as, "he is the friend in my car." I asked her to repeat it, and what she actually said was, "he is the FRIEND OF MY HEART." She says the most adorable things!!!

After the animals, we had some yummy chocolate cookies and the best apple pumpkin muffins: I am sooo making a batch of those...oh, wait, MOM L...what about that yummy carrot cake made into muffins?!!! Then the boys all went climbing and exploring then we all went on the hay ride, and us two Moms received some complaints for "going all the way out there and not getting a pumpkin!" We told the boys we were along for the ride, striving to instill in them the value of enjoying the moment instead of needing to get something all of the time. Being content instead of choosing to be bored or ungrateful.

I did manage to avoid the gift shop, on purpose, but other than that, we took our usual route around the pumpkin farm. I think tomorrow, I will "turn over a new leaf" (haha) and take another route, starting with the hay ride first. That sounds like a really great idea!

Oh, I read a new book today by Richard Paul Evans titled PROMISE ME. So good: if you like a chick flick (that sounds so slang: what is a better term?), read this book, it is a "chick book."

Love you all, Katie

General Conference #2

Hey Michelle: I'm writing TWICE in the same day and getting a head start on my goal of posting more than 8 times in a month!!



Guess what? While we were watching conference at home for the first time EVER (besides yesterday) it rained a little bit: that made the day even better!!! I went outside and let it fall on my head, now that yummy rain smell is everywhere outside and floating through every open window in our home. Conference was wonderful, and I am looking forward to the next session, though I am always sad when it is the last session because then we have to wait six months for another conference. I am grateful for the Ensign which publishes the talks in November, and now with amazing technology, we can watch the talks whenever we want!!! Yet there is nothing like hearing them for the first time!! And guess what else I learned? Every Sunday before church, I listen to Music And the Spoken Word which is broadcast by radio live from SLC. But today I discovered that it is also online, so now I can even see it. And best of all, it shows beautiful pictures while the choir is singing: of nature, specifically meadows, waterfalls and amazing creeks and rivers. I felt such peace and renewal, and I am grateful for Heavenly Father providing such beauty and for people making it available to us via the internet!



This is a beautiful incredible day!!!

We also have a new addition to our extended family: she was born on Monday morning and is the new daughter of my youngest sister and brother in law!! EAG is BEAUTIFUL; there is so much about a little baby girl to bless the world that is amazing to me. They are so feminine and already filled with the potential to be a wife and a mother. Other things that will come in her life are unknown, but these two things; being a wife and a mother are inherently a part of her. So that means that when I was born, those things were inherently a part of me too: they have been all I have ever really wanted. I feel immense gratitude for having the opportunity to fulfill these divine callings right now in my life: for the plan that our Heavenly Father has created for me. Though there has been sadness, heartache and loss in my three decades, there has been by far, much more joy, love and giving than I could ever describe: I have been blessed with far more than what is necessary to feel joy.

With gratitude on this spectacular day, Katie

General Conference!

Yea!!!! Today is General Conference!!! If anybody wants to watch it today, you can do so on www.lds.org or you may review talks from yesterday also from that website. I LOVE CONFERENCE!!!

I have been working on a goal this week, does anybody want to join me? It is this: love those closest to you with all your heart. "With all your heart" means forgetting annoyances, letting go of hurt, not keeping track of whose turn it is to take out the garbage or do the dishes. "With all your heart" means giving a back massage even if your back hurts and you may not get a massage, it means washing somebody's car even when your own needs washing, loving even when it is hard. This is a very incredible experience. If anybody wants more, read The Love Dare and watch Fireproof...soooo wonderful!!

Anyway ,I hope somebody enjoys General Conference for the first time today or tomorrow or sometime this week!!

With love, with all my heart, Katie

Last day of the month!

WOOOHOOO...October is tomorrow!!!

Joyful month, already three trips planned to the Pumpkin Farm, the beginning of the Holiday Season!!!

So my message today is to take a few moments each day to RELAX, de-stress if necessary, breathe deep and count our MANY blessings. Serve somebody today!

Lovingly, Katie

Do You Like Me?

The other day, M asked, "Do you like me?" I was taken aback by his question and had to rethink the past few moments to see if I could figure out why he would ask me that. I found it interesting that he did not ask me if I love him: he knows that. But in rethinking why he may have asked me if I like him, I decided that the tone of voice in which I was speaking to him had not been the kindest. I really thought about that a lot: do our families know that we like them? Sometimes to some people, love is more of an obligation, but when we truly like somebody, we also treat them kind and speak to them in loving ways. Have we felt compassion or obligation today?

This evening, M and I went on a grasshopper hunt: I do not usually join the boys on their hunts, but D was inside doing all of the extra schoolwork that he accumualted from yesterday. It was fun trying to catch up with the little hoppers: they are really quick, and it is actually quite a challenge.

Funnest part of the day: drawing on the concrete patio with chalk and making crazy designs, feeling any stress I had been harboring leave my body as I felt the chalk adhere to the concrete: the thick chalk was more smooth and almost felt like thick paint on construction paper. The thin chalk was deeper in color, with the exception of pink. It feels so good to create eventhough my creations are very elementary.

Lovingly, with compassion, Katie

Monday

Ya know the Bangels song "Manic Monday"? Sometimes I feel that way eventhough I love Monday. Like today, I did not get a shower until 9:00...GROSS. Yeah, I feel gross until I get my shower, even on days like today when I could justify sleeping really late because D was up half of the night throwing up, so of course he did not go to school today.

Anyhow, Sunday and Monday are the most pivotal days of my week: I LOVE THEM. But on Mondays like today when everything is in slow motion, except for the clock, I struggle. However, I am striving to be positive, and in this moment, I will celebrate the awesome swing that D and M and I made on Saturday.

And here is another super quote from www.myoneword.org :"The point of disciplines is to do something you can do in order to do something you can't do (YET). Disciplines must remain disciplines for a period of time. This consistency enables them to become habits and then reflexes. Eventually, they are dissolved into your character. The key to growth is to be relentless in your walk with God and pursuit of wisdom. Wisdom keeps us focused while integrity protects our path."

In wise integrity today, Katie

The world in which we live

Wow!! What an amazing world full of technology in which we live!! I just spent some time listening to/watching Mormon Messages on www.lds.org: AMAZING!!! I have also strengthened my testimony by reading the testimonies of others on www.mormon.org.

This morning before church, I read an article from the Ensign titled "Dating and Virtue" by Elanine S Dalton and David L Beck. The following are quotes from that amazing article.
"If we could see each other for who we really are -- children of our Father in Heaven -- we would treat each other with the reverence, respect, and dignity theat our spiritual heritage demands. When we understand our divine destiny, it will define all of our relationships with each other." That is SOOO powerful and applies to adults as well as teenagers!!

"When we cross the line and engage in immoral behavior, we offend the Spirit, and when we lose that influence of the Holy Ghost in our lives, all those wonderful things that the Spirit provides to us are lost. Immoral behavior destroys faith...we must be pure in heart to have the guidance of the Holy Ghost. That means we need to live so that we are worthy to enter the temple -- now!"

"One of the most important things parents can do is set the example by the respect they show each other and the joy they have in their relationship -- seeing that it really is a wonderful thing. I don't know that we could overstate what a motivator that is. Parents should try to model what a marriage can and should be...Parents need to teach, but they also need to listen and invite their children to express their feelings about what is going on... we need to spend time with our children and do things with them that they like to do -- not just the things we want to do. This builds confidence and trust."

"We need to encourage them (our children) to do hard things and sometimes to take the path that stretches them. When each of us individuals confronts our fears, we discover who we are. We discover God in our lives and we develop confidence . Go forward in faith, knowing that the Lord will support you. His grace is sufficient to help us through challenging situations."

"They (our children) want to be validated for who they REALLY are. They come with such nobility inside. We need to provide opportunities that foster authentic relationships and help them develop the feeling and knowledge of their own identity."

What a blessing in these latter days, to have such inspiration: to know what to do. There are so many things we can do: but those are some of the things we should do. This week, Michelle was off of work, and we got to have some nice long conversations on the phone. I told her I am amazed at the quickness of email and texts. This week, I texted my brother in law and within 5 minutes, he texted me back!! Amazing!! And as Michelle and I talked on the phone, I was able to email her a photo she was helping me with for a missionary profile I was working on. Thanks, amazing woman!!

As incredible as our media is, I pray that I will never get too busy to do the things that are truly important: seeing my children smile, hugging each of my family members, playing a board game with my family, reading stories together...in a "story book" as GB would say!!

Love you all, Happy Sabbath, Katie

Beautiful Life

Yesterday, Don, M and I went the temple. While Don performed temple work, M and I went to the bookstore. Then we came back to the temple and walked around with Don looking at the beautiful flowers and feeling the Spirit so strong. We sat and talked and watched M's adorable face as he collected leaves and rose petals and talked with us. The only thing that could have made those moments more perfect would have been D's presence.

I am really striving to live TODAY. I have always had a way of living too much in the past and trying to figure out the future. A friend recently told me to live more in the moment. Sometimes that is hard for me becuause I do not want to forget the past and I want to plan for the future. I feel that setting and reaching goals, both short term and long term is really important. But somehow there is a fine line between setting goals for the future and living in the future. Living TODAY helps me to enjoy more today and to be grateful for each minute that makes TODAY special.

Totally off the subject, here is a quote from www.myoneword.org "Rather than a quick fix on outward appearance, He'll transform our heart and motives for (or from) the inside."

Bye for now, Katie

Gratitude

So did anybody hear Music and the Spoken Word this morning? It was about change...I think I am being prepared for just that, change. Change I often fear.

In response to that, the following was on the homework assignment from My One Word this week, "How do we get to the point where thankfulness is the initial response for whatever life throws our way? (I would like to change that to "whatever Heavenly Father places in our path") We must rejoice at every opportunity we are given. This includes during a difficult time, in the midst of chaos or when our life completely falls apart. OUR RESPONSE IS GREATLY SHAPED BY OUR PERSPECTIVE!"

I am very grateful for the positive words and teachings that bless my life. I hope to share all the good that I can, thus the purpose of this blog.

Love to all, particularly on this day to our East Coast Family, I LOVE YOU
Katie

Talents

Today at the church (I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) (see www.mormon.org), we had a really neat event: a harvest festival. There was "vegetable art" : D, M, and MD made a person out of a potato and yellow pear tomatoes as well as a dog out of toothpicks and pear tomatoes. Don displayed items depicting his music project, and I displayed our anniversary scrapbook, my temple journal and a book that I am going to cover as part of my business "Recovered Classics." I will write more about that another time. Anyway, the event displayed people's talents, and everything was so beautiful and amazing. I was so glad that MD and SD got to come with us and enjoy the day and the other children that were there. The food was fun: corn dogs, mini hamburgers, chili (why does that word look so weird?), corn on the cob (served in melted butter so we didn't have to butter it ourselves), popcorn, and the best surprise: COTTON CANDY!!! What a nice event that our activities committee organized, and it was such a fun time for all of the families.

Our baby chickens are getting their adorable little wing and tail feathers: sooo cute!! This week I have been very grateful for my friendships with other women: they each have such a part in my life. My Mom and my sisters are the BEST (Michelle, you are a sister). And my new Amy is such a blessing to me: she is really good at making me laugh, and she likes to fix things like I do. The other day, we fixed a part of her truck with purple duck tape.

So in thinking about talents, how would one display the talent of being a good friend, a good listener, having a compassionate heart? How can those things be reflected in all that I do and say and am? Those things are all parts of my becoming more fully a disciple of Christ.

Love to all, Katie

Beauty in Change

I usually struggle with change. Sometimes change is good. Like the new school year: a new school building, a slightly different schedule for the children and even a new teacher are all positive things so far. D's teacher last year was so great for him, I knew it would take me some time to adjust, but I know that each year, he has the teacher right for him in that particular year. I typically share a significant amount of time in the classroom, and this year I feel the need for something different. I am going to do more take home work and focus on some projects for myself such as working with dogs at an animal shelter. A couple of years ago, I tried the horse thing and still love horses, but dogs can pretty much go anywhere. Like in my home and in my car and to hotels and on the road with me. Besides, I think I speak dog better than I speak horse. For a long time, I grieved about not speaking horse as well as I would like to, but maybe I need the dogs more...and they need me. Anyway, those are some of my recent beautiful changes. I am also becoming convinced that I can be a Mother of a daughter in addition to being a Mother of our wonderful sons. For so long, I have been convinced that most girls were too dramatic, but experience throughout the summer has taught me that girls are really wonderful too and they think about things in a completely different way. They are beautiful and loving and kind in their uniquely girl way.
May each of you be blessed as you cultivate beautiful change in you lives,
Love, Katie

Blessed By Children

I am so very blessed by the children in my life, and I am very grateful for them. In the past two months, I have had the opportunity to be with many children, in addition to my own children, on a regular basis. My life would not be the same without these children who I adore. To any of you who do not have children or children at home, take some time out this week and spend time with a child: watch him laugh, watch her be creative, participate in a sport even for just a few moments, watch her dance to her own music, enjoy his ideas, color a picture or roll in the grass like a dog!!

D's best friend and his sister shared the day with us on Saturday, and between the three of them, I laugh almost the whole time at the amazingly funny things they say. We were driving in the car past a clump of oleanders and some old railroad tracks , and D's best friend said, "Hobos live in those bushes." Trying not to laugh outloud, I asked him if he saw a "hobo." He said "No, but I hear there is a Hobo House in there." WOW: the things children think of!!!

Each face has a special story, gifts, blessings to share. Thank you to all of the children in my life, to their amazing parents and to Heavenly Father for blessing me so fully with each of them, and in particular, our own two sons.

Best blessings to each of you this Sabbath day, Love, K

Baby Chicks!!

On Monday, my friend that gave me our other chickens (Thanks SB) called and asked if we wanted a Mommy with babies, and we said, "yes!!!" They are so cute: two light colored ones with some dark markings on their heads and three dark colored ones with darker markings. The mama is a reddish buff color with a funny puffy head. OK, so I officially recind all previous negative comments about dumb chickens. Watching these babies and their Mommy communicate has been amazing: they are obedient to her every instruction, she counts them after we have picked up one or two to make sure they have all returned, and she has different voice pitches that mean all sorts of different things. I love them!!

I wanted to record some funny things M has recently said. Today I asked him to go to bed twice before he got into bed, and apparently at the third asking, I made an unkind face because he stated, "Mommy, that is a bad guy face!!!" A couple of days ago, we were making pancakes and some of the mix spilled out of the bowl and he said excitedly, "Mommy, it's snowing!" And then later he was asking me why Lilly was squaking, and I told him that she smelled the pancakes. M asked, "She has a nose, Mommy?" M calls campfires "pampfires." When Don, D, and M are playing hide and seek, if someone does not find him right away, he shouts, "R2PO" (which is his way of saying C3PO from Star Wars), so that the person counting can find him easier. Why he chose C3PO as his code word is a mystery to me!

Blessings to all, K

First day of school

The first day of school always brings mixed feelings. D had a really good day, and he said, "I was most excited to see all of my friends." When I asked him what he played for recess, I was slightly disappointed when he did not answer "Star Wars or Meerkats" but instead answered "Wall Ball." His creative ways are amazing to me and I hope they are never lost to more conventional games. There was one new child in his class today: a girl who had been with his class for part of a year a couple of years ago. The school is beautiful: the classrooms majestic. And D's teacher seems really creative and happy to teach.

The beginning of school has its own challenges for me as well. I want to know all of the new people all at once, and yet, I want things to stay the same. PTA changes are hard for me: especially because in our small school, we all get to know each other pretty well, and with the way I get attached to people, it is hard for me to make big changes. And then for me today it was facing people I wasn't sure I was ready to encounter, but all went well. I am striving to rely most of all on the Lord and to be sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Ghost so I will be in the right places at the right times. Let us all pray for one another.

Goodnignt, love, Katie

Angels Among Us

About four weeks ago, I was having a really hard day/week. During that week, I needed some extra TLC, and all in one day, Heavenly Father sent so many people to bless my life. In the morning, my Mom called and invited me to lunch. Then not long after returning home, a member of our ward (Thanks LS) came over because she felt like I needed some extra support when she herself was having a terrible horrible no good very bad day. So she sat with me while I talked and cried and I told her about my dogs passing away and about my sister moving and in general that my heart was aching, and as she has done so for 12 years now, she held my hand and said, "Katie, you're going to be OK. The Lord loves you." Just to hear that blessed the rest of my week. Then to finish out an already amazing day, my good friend, GB called and told me about a 1 year old Golden who was one of Shawnie's puppies that needed a new home and that I would be of good help because I am a "good dog whisperer". It felt healing to have a quality validated by someone who I look up to as amazing with animals herself.

In the past three weeks, I have been blessed with many children in my life on a regular basis. They have made me laugh, smile and enjoy my own children even more. Thank you to my family for their support. Every child Heavenly Father sends to Earth to bless all they contact are unique, special and a joy. I have a special love for children with whom others become easily frustrated, thus a desire for me in the future to become an occupational therapist as well as becoming fluent in music so that I can further bless the lives of children.

I have a new friend AE and her daughter GB (a different GB than the above mentioned) who have already blessed my life in the week that I have known them: I hope to also bless their lives.

So M said something super funny on Wednesday. For a few weeks, Don had grown out his beard and mustache to look like "Grizzly Adams" (whoever he is). Don had shaved before we went to pick up D and M at my parent's home, and as M sat in Don's lap on my parent's couch, he looked at his Daddy and said, "You look like my Mom!" My Mom and I looked at each other and started cracking up, and the unspoken words between us were, "that belongs in the blog!". I really don't know if any of us completely understand what M meant, but I think it meant that because Don's facial hair was gone, he looked "normal" again. But what was funny to us as adults was that he chose to compare Don to me instead of another man like Grandpa. How these amazing children bless our days with insight and laughter!!
Lovingly and with gratitude, K

Good Stuff

So today being Sunday, I am going to take time to focus on the words the Lord has given me this week and the joy he gives me in my children.

Yesterday, M had heard Don and I talking as we were driving in the car about a place we wanted to go after we picked up D from his friend's home. When D got in the car, he asked where we were going, and M said, "to yogurt!" Don and I both busted out laughing because we did not even know that he was paying any atttention earlier and also the conversation we had was not a prolonged one: we were amazed at how he picked up on that!!! Then a couple of minutes later, we all lauged again as we were driving because D said something about a taco and M decided that he would name the lizzard he had caught earlier in the day and had been playing with for half of the day and recaught so D's friend could see it TACO. As we drove home after yogurt, he decided to take "Taco" back to where he found him so "he could be with his family."

Because I finished The Continuous Atonement this week, this will be my last entry of quotes from that amazing book. This first one is from President Boyd K. Packer "Save for the exception of the very few who defect to perdition, there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no apostasy, no crime exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness. That is the promise of the Atonement of Christ." "We are never so aware of our need for air as when we are drowning. Repenting and remaking broken covenants allows us to feel a deep sense of gratitude fo the Lord. In those moments of struggle, our needs are accentuated. When we experience our own Gethsemanes, we truly begin to value Christ's. When we recognize our own weakness, we stand in awe of His strength. Like starlight against a nighttime sky, when we see the darkness of our vices, we can also see the brightness of His virtues." "As we keep our covenants and experience the sanctifying influence of the Spirit, it is as if those dark lines anre polished over time. They actually become part of our beauty."

People, places and planes

I will be writing a lot in tonight's blog!
The following is from www.myoneword.org , and it is very profound in my life at this moment: "Whether we realize it or not, we tend to live our lives like we are in a House of Mirrors by engaging in the game of self preservation. Eventhough we crave to be in relationships with others where we are known, vulnerability is something we fear at the same time...even in our [closest] relationships there are often barriers that are erected to manage an image that we want to maintain. The barrier to developing authentic relationships is self preservation. In general, we want others to perceive us better than we even perceive ourselves. We often struggle with disappointing other people or not measuring up to some standard that always feels out of reach."
"We are afraid that if we take off our masks or expose our problems, we will be rejected...we struggle with whether others will perceive us as normal or not. If things remain the same and we allow self preservation to exist, we hinder our spiritual formation and growth. If we are to continue to grow out of our struggles we meed a community around us. If we are more concerned with our own self preservation we will hide behind an image that we want others to have about us. Our desire for self preservation is often at the expense of developing authentic relationships with those around us. So how do we start? As with all things, we CENTER ON GOD."
"If we are going to develop authentic relationships, we have to be AUTHENTIC ourselves and authentic with God about where we are. Authenticity is an accurate reflection of truth. Authenticity enables us to truly reflect where we currently are in our relationship with God. Whether it is good, bad, or ugly, our HONESTY serves as a starting point for conversations to begin and changes to occur."
So I absolutely agree with all of those things, but in my study of these words, I wonder, "How do I know whether or not I am living an authentic life? I like to believe that I am...that I would not be anythhing less than authentic. That is even what I tell people. And a few things come to mind: that the things we read and hear that are of God are put into our lives at specefic times for a purpose. Secondly, when others are able to point out to me in a loving way, (which has happened recently) that perhaps my life is not all that authentic, I need to listen. Lastly, in my quest for understanding this in my life, I know that I need to start as directed and CENTER ON CHRIST. I know that that is truly the only way.
And now a complete change of pace: I still have not discussed my trip through California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas and back again in exactly the reverse order. I had the great privilege of traveling with my sister and nephew and their unexpected to be amazing but amazing dog. As we passed county lines in CA, that got me all excited and when we entered AZ, it was so exciting to be in a new state. Being away gave me an opportunity to ponder upon such topics as I wrote about above: and though the word authenticity did not enter my mind, it is the word I would use to define my whole thought experience. New Mexico was a whole new experience...flat and really dry. Beauty prevailed in the amazingly artistic overpasses...especially the ones close to and in Albequerque. Then tada...TEXAS with all of its glorious fields and cows...and me hoping to see an armadillo or an elk. Typically I am the good luck charm when it comes to seeing wildlife on a road trip, but not so this time. I got to share a whole day with my sister (LOVE YOU MG!!!) in her new town, which is adorable...and ridiculously humid. I treasure our time in the car together, at the hotels we stayed at and eating pizza that was delivered one night, and getting to be at her home. I am grateful for getting to see some of the city's history the next day before catching my flight home.
Because I strive for a certain sense of anonominity {is that a word?} in my blog, I have left out so much detail and feeling which I have written in my regular journal. However, this last section will be much more detailed as I do not know the names of the people of whom I will be speaking. All I know is that I was supposed to be in the places I was in sharing time with the people I was with. I missed my original flight which was going to stop in NM and then have a plane change in LA: which was fine with me because the LA airport is my least favorite of all airports I have been to. Anyhow, I left TX and flew to NM: on that leg of the trip, I sat next to a middle aged woman and a guy who is probably a few years younger than me. He and I talked about family, work, animals, travel and parenting methods: he and his wife have a four year old little boy and we were discussing how important it is to teach our children how to be somewhat self sufficent instead of ridiculously dependent. He said he went a little overboard teaching his son that because recently when he had a couple of days off in a row his son was asking when he would be going back to work instead of what they were going to do together. I told him not to worry so much and told him the true stories of M, at the age of two, pushing kitchen chairs over to the counter so he could climb up to get his own candy.
From NM to AZ, I sat in the very back of the plane next to a very special couple who I could tell immediately loved each other deeply with all of their hearts: they were an inspiration to me. We talked about family and travel and religion. She works for Southwest, so they get to travel a lot, which I thought was so awesome. I had the opportunity to tell them about our adoption story: it was so beautiful to share and know that they needed to hear our story on that day. I truly loved this couple; they have been married the same amount of time as Don and I have, they have three children and are considering possibly adopting someday. It was truly a pleasure meeting people outside of my regular circle who value their marriage and their precious children as gifts from our loving Heavenly Father.
Then from AZ to CA, I sat a seat away from a father and a little boy who was throwing up most of the flight. I could tell the father was tired out from caring for his little son. As they returned to their seats after using the bathroom, the father asked the guy in the seat in front of him to put his seat up, well the guy did not hear the dad because he was engrossed in a book. The dad started getting really upset and began to raise his voice at the other man: I leaned over and explained to the dad that the other man had been reading and did not even hear his request. The dad was still all put out, so I suggested that he sit back in his seat and try to relax, which amazingly, he did. And then later, as our flight was near complete, the dad leaned up, patted the other guy on the shoulder and apologized. I was so proud of him and could not help but thank Heavenly Father for helping me to help make a difference in a person's life.
I am very grateful for all of those who made this trip a possibility: Don, my parents, my sisters, JW and KW and to GB for being our first away from home dog sitter!!
Eventhough we all try to plan our lives to the best of our abilities, Heavenly Father will have us be where we should be when we should be there when we are doing our all.

With much love, and particularly because of all that I wrote tonight, with much FAITH, K

Behind!

Yeah, I am so behind with all that I want to write. I will do some today and some tomorrow. First, here are the amazing things I have read lately: "The world is filled with yellow canaries with gray on their wings. [People who may not be the most beautiful or talented, yet they are people who can bless the lives of others with their testimonies of Christ.] The pity is that so precious few have learned to sing. Some are young people who don't know who they are, what they can be or even want to be; all they want is to be somebody. Others are stooped with age, burdened with care, or filled with doubt- living lives far below the level of their capabilities.To live GREATLY, we must develop the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with HUMILITY. You ask, "How might we achieve these goals?" I answer, "By gaining a true perspective of who we really are!" We are sons and daughters of a living God, in whose image we have been created. Think of that: created in the image of God.We cannot sincerely hold this conviction without experiencing a profound new sense of strength and power." -Thomas S. Monson, June Ensign (www.lds.org)
The following is from The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox: "God is not interested in what will make Him likable or most popular in the moment. He is concerned only with what is best." "No matter how many balls I had juggled and let fall, how much lack of self control I demonstrated, and how many regrets I carried from the past, He (God) was bound to love me. No matter what my future might turn out to be, He is bound to love me. Not only did He require me to have faith and confidence in Him, but He is required to have faith and confidence in me. No foreknowledge can stop Him from investing His all in each moment, just as no foreknowledge stopped Christ form investing His all in Gethsemane and Calvary. Earth life is not merely a way of proving myself to them, but also a way for them to prove their love to me. God and Jesus are bound to believe in me- in my potential and possibilities- even when I don't. God is bound to be as close to me as He is to any of His children because He is a perfect parent. If I fail, it will not be because He has. And knowing He has not failed gives me the power I need to succeed." "By allowing freedom and helping me outgrow the desire to make poor choices, the balance of justice and mercy is maintained and love grows even stronger. It is a harder road, but it is the only one worth traveling because, while much is endured, love is preserved." "God and Christ have been victorious and Satan and his followers have been thwarted at each essential turning point except one- the turning point in our individual lives. Satan cannot undo the Creation, the Fall, the Atonement, or the Restoration. He cannot pull them down, so instead he tries to pull us down." "Robert L. Millet wrote, "'There is a better and higher motivation...that is above and beyond self-discipline, well beyond sheer willpower and dogged determination. It is a motivation born of the Spirit, one that comes to us as a result of a change of heart."' "Making promises to ourselves or even to others is like putting water in a gas tank. Sure, it fills the tank, but it will not get us to our final destination. Only by making covenants can we find the proper fuel- the power- that makes the difference. Covenants connect us to Christ, who said, "'I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."' "We may stumble, but He never does. We may falter, but He never will. We may feel out of control, but He never is...Covenants forge a link between our telestial, mortal struggles and God's celestial, immortal powers (Patricia T. Holland). And B.H. Roberts "Even after the sins of the past are forgiven, the one so pardoned will doubtless feel the force of sinful habits bearing heavily upon him.. There is an absolute necessity for some additional sanctifyiong grace that will strengthen poor human nature...Man's natural powers are unequal to this task...Such strength, such power, such a a sanctifying grace is conferred on man in being born of the Spirit- in receiving the Holy Ghost."

What a loving Father in Heaven we have who blesses with all of the blessings mentioned above. He even makes things right when we are late or lacking, like when we miss an airplane flight. He makes it right by helping us to know without a doubt that the people we met on the next flight were absolutely the sons and daughters: brothers and sisters He would have us meet on that very day and at that very time: both for them and for us. That is where I will begin next time.

Thank you all for your prayers, Love, K

To SK

This post is dedicated to my brother in law, SK.

As I was driving this evening, I heard this song and thought of you. I thought of me. It is called "Healing Begins" by Tenth Avenue North: here are most of the lyrics:

So you thought you had to keep this up

All the work that you do

So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough

All the walls you built up

Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down

There's freedom waiting in the sound

When you let your walls fall to the ground

We're here now

This is where the healing begins, oh

This is where the healing starts

When you come to where you're broken within

The light meets the dark

The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out

Everything that you hide

Can come crashing through the door now

But too scared to face all your fear

So you hide but you find

That the shame won't disappear

So let it fall down

There's freedom waiting in the sound

When you let your walls fall to the ground...

This is where the healing begins...

It is crazy when you have known somebody for over 12 years, many times thinking how different they are from yourself eventhough you love them. Then one day you look in the mirror to find that you are really not that different at all. You see that person in you and they see you in them. That is the beauty of the Lord's plan for family: he does not leave any of us alone: EVER. He does not leave us without others to love and comfort and bless us. And we all need to be held in each other's hearts.

To know that another understands because though thousands of miles away, they are experiencing life so much the same, but different. Different experiences, but with the same consequences and the same lessons learned. Lessons I think we all learn at sometime if we allow our hearts to learn and bend and HUMBLE. Ponder that big world: HUMBLE (yes, I did say world instead of word). Thanks SK for the insights to that word.

Here are some thoughts for all of us to ponder from one of my favorite websites, www.myoneword.org . SK check that out!

"Living authentically means being vulnerable and transparent."

"The challenge before us is to step up our walk by examining our heart."

"In Christ we have the fulness of love necessary to live with others without having to get."

I have been counseled by a trusted source to find something to call my own: my own hobby where I feel joy. Besides Shawnie and Leo, I think I am opening the door to something new that I really enjoy. Two weeks ago, for the second time in my life, I shot six arrows from a bow at a Scout activity. I hit the target every time, which I thought was OK: I did not get any bulls eyes. Then today, I shot the arrows again at another activity with the same accuracy as before. The scouts commented on the accuracy of my shot, as many of them practice on a regular basis. It made me feel good to possibly uncover a hidden talent: I want to read up on archery and maybe get my own set. I encourage everyone to try new things: I thought I would be horrible, but I really enjoyed this new sporty challenge. Tip: only use a compound bow if you have arm guards on! I have a nice battle wound!

Love you all, blessings to you, SK Love, K

About Leo

I met Leo the day we adopted Prince. D had looked at all of the dogs and there was Leo, an adorable mix, who I think is part Sheltie, but the shelter has him listed as a different type of mix. Anyway, there he was in the very last kennel with his buddy, a huge St. Bernard. The two of them were brought in together as strays. For me, it was love at first sight, but I knew that it would be unwise to suggest to Robert that he try out any certain dog, as I wanted it to be completely his choice. Besides the fact that he chose a kitten. I did not get my heart set on Leo because at that time, we did not have an "opening" in our family. Little did I know the Lord's plan. Leo and his St. Bernard buddy were brought in the day before Malden passed away, and that being two and a half weeks ago now, I have had many occasions to check up on the two buddies because I do not want them to be put down. I have talked to so many people about the St. Bernard, and finally I found somebody today who may go look at her tomorrow! And it is extra neat, because she has had a St. Bernard before!! So I met Leo on a Saturday and I would call every other day to check on them as well as checking PetHarbor.com everyday to see if either of them had success in being adopted. Then the following Friday, I took Tino to the vet and I knew the decision we had to make. On Tuesday, a week ago today, we had him put down for his own well being. Though I know it was best, it was still so hard, having been with him for 12 years. I will spare you all of the emotional details, but the short of the story is that I decided to go into the cat room at the animal shelter to listen to the music and relax and check in on some of my new buddies. Then I decided that I should go visit Leo, and I was able to get him out of his kennel, with the assistance of a very special worker, M. I learned that Leo does pretty well on the leash and is very sweet tempered. He even dealt well with being away from his friend. I still did not really think that we would bring him to live with us forever, but I really liked him a lot and was convinced that I could find him a home. So later in the week, I spoke with the director about foster care for him and if I could become a foster care volunteer, but come to find out, the animal shelter does not sponsor that type of program. In my heart, I knew that I could not leave him to his pending fate, and nobody had been looking at him, though plenty of people had looked at the St. Bernard. On Thursday night, I got online to show him to Don and asked if we could adopt him. I was completely amazed when Don said yes!!! So on Friday on the way to the temple, we stopped at the animal shelter to fill out paperwork and to pay for him. I ran back to him with complete excitement and told him that we are "busting him out!" I have been so excited all weekend to get to bring him home tomorrow after he has his vet appointment and neutering. I took M to see him today, and though we were not able to get him out becuase the shelter was low staffed today, it was good to see him and that he was happy and doing well. I am still praying that his buddy will find a forever home shortly. It would be so cool if they could go home on the same day. So I bought him a collar today, and yeah, it is purple. I am SOOO excited to bring him home tomorrow afternoon and to see what he will think of Don, D, M, Shawnie, Lilly, Prince, and Scraps. And when he is all better from his surgery, I am excited to see if he will enjoy running with Shawnie and I. I am excited to see if he will like going to parks, if he likes water and if he knows how to play. I am excited to know what he has learned and what I can teach him.Looking at timing and my need to heal, I have no doubt that Heavenly Father has not only placed loving Shawnie in my life, but also Leo, whose personality is yet to be revealed. Had both of our well loved dogs not passed within such a short time of each other, I would not now be having this experience: for me or for Leo. There is still so much love in my heart for dog friends: the Lord added to that love during this experience and has protected me from negativity and excessive sadness. Those in my immediate life have offered up so many prayers of healing and protection for me.
I feel like I am writing a book about this experience, so time to move to a new subject: M's hilarious ways!! Last week, we had a crazy hail and rain storm, so D went outside to feel it on his clothes and skin. The water was really coming down as M and I watched from the window. Suddenly he got an adorable smile on his face and I could tell he was about to say something funny. "Mommy, his clothes are taking a bath!!" D's clothes truly were soaked when he came in.
I want to share with all of you this wonderful quote from the April General Conference: this is from Bishop Keith B. McMullin "The prayer of faith bears fruit when such harmony exists, and this harmony exists when prayers are inspired by the Holy Spirit. The Spirit manifests what our petitions should be. Absent this inspired guidance, we are inclined to "'ask amiss'", to seek only our will and not "'Thy will"'. It is as important to be guided by the Holy Spirit while praying as it is to be enlightened by that same spirit while receiving an answer to prayer."

May we all pray for one another, K

Empty Me

Finally... a new post!!
I heard a song today on Klove that I have never heard before: I don't know if it was Jeremy Kamp, Chris Sligh or somebody else. For the lyrics, I found it under both of the above names, but I am surprised that this was my first time hearing it because it does not seem to be new. Here are the most meaningful parts of the song to me.

Empty Me

I know how fast I can stray

and how fast my heart could change.

Empty me

of the selfishness inside,

every vain ambition

and the poison of my pride

and any foolish thing my heart holds to,

Lord empty me of me

so I can be

filled with you.

Everything is a lesser thing compared to you.

I surrender all.

Lord empty me of me

so I can be

filled with You.

Empty me.

That is so powerful. And I so need to be emptied of myself: my way, my habits, my will. When we are beautifully broken, we can see things in a different light: ways that were always there, but closed by our own "blindness."

My heart still hurts for my Malden, but Shawnie is truly an angel to me. She brings me silly things to the side of the bed: like my bookmark, like random papers, like toys...all things she has handled with such gentility, none of them have even a tooth indent. She makes me laugh when we walk because she loves the water and if I do not have her on her leash, she will dive into one or two of the neighbor's ponds. Shawnie Angel is not a morning dog: she stays sleeping by my side of the bed until I have prayed, read, dressed in exercise clothes and shoes and even until I have gotten the leash down before she gets up. But this morning, she was excited to go walking and is learning the routine.

When I am gone, I am able to leave her inside, and I think she lays on the entry carpet the whole time. I am thankful for Heavenly Father for providing us with her. And eternal thanks to GB who knew we would be a good match. Since the Saturday before last when we adopted Prince, I have had my eye on two dogs at the animal shelter. One is a St. Bernard and the other is a Sheltie mix. I want to help find them good homes. I think the St. Bernard will be easier to place (just because she is purebred), eventhough the Sheltie mix is a more well behaved dog.

Please all, keep doggies in your prayers and if you can take one or one more into your life, please do today.

With love and joy in Christ who is our Savior.

Goodnight, Katie

Shawnie and Prince (ss)

Our loving Heavenly Father has a beautiful way of healing and loving each one of us individually, as He knows what we need. He knows me better than I know myself, heals me better than I could ever hope for and blesses my heart.
On Saturday, D, M and I went to the animal shelter for D to choose a dog of his own. We tried out a few dogs, but none of them were right for him, in his opinion. So we looked at cats and kittens, and we came home with a kitten which he named Princess. Yesterday, we took the kitten for a well check at the vet, and as it turns out, she is a he, so now his name is Prince. He is gray with white legs and a partial white face and he is really adorable at about 4-5 weeks. I am not technically a cat person, but it is fun to see his personality grow and become more brave in the house, even chasing D around. Both boys LOVE to hold him, and on Saturday night, I was so done with all of the arguing over the kitten that Don and I discussed the need for M to have his own pet. For the safety of a little animal, we decided that a dog would be best.
My dear friend, GB, had graciously offered her six year old golden retriever, Shawnie. So on Sunday, we went to pick up Shawnie on a one week trial period. I have loved her for more than a year, so it was not hard to bring her into our family. And now sharing the past three days with her, I'm pretty convinced that she is a keeper. Nobody will ever take Malden's special place, but Shawnie is truly blessing me with healing. She is a very sweet and loving dog who adores everyone, even the little rat of a kitten who likes to lay right by her. Shawnie is doing great on our walks and I can even call her off of her interest in a passing cat or bird. She loves the water, which is a new thing to me, so I have to distract her when we walk by the tadpole pond, which she found yesterday. I love Shawnie's gentle way, and her silly habits: she knows how to take socks off of a person's feet, and she loves to carry around tennis balls. She sleeps by my side of the bed at night and watches out for the boys whenever we are all outside. Although I think that she is not a morning dog, she willingly goes out with me in early morning for our walk together.
Thank you Heavenly Father for your healing plan for me.
To all of you reading, thank you for your thoughts and prayers, Love, K

Grieving is a process, not an event

I am learning that grieving is a process. When Malden died on Thursday, I truly felt like my deepest hurts were over, and though my pain came from the very depths of my heart and the inner-most part of my soul, yesterday I began learning that the pain takes on new form. I was doing pretty good on Friday morning thanks to all of the phone calls, prayers and hugs...THANK YOU ALL. By Friday evening, I was feeling very down and was in an extremely unsocial mood, but I had made previous commitments to be at a school function and was given the opportunity to be somewhat social. Before long, I removed myself from the group and sought solace outside in the relative quiet to read a book. After awhile, a dear friend came along and helped me talk things out. As is often the Lord's way, He sent a person who has been through an extraordinary amount of grief to remind me that I can always help to lift another's burden even when I feel that mine is great, I know that over the course of her life, hers has been truly sacrificial. It is to her and to others I have recently spoken with who have lost children that I dedicate the following to: (By a tender mercy of the Lord, on the same day that Malden died, I had checked out a book titled Dog Heaven, written and illustrated by Cynthia Rylant, thinking I would read it to D and M to help prepare them for Tino's eventual death, little knowing that I would need it that very day for a very different circumstance and for my best dog: I just read it with D and M tonight). Here are two pages of text from the book Dog Heaven to the above mentioned women: "[In heaven] there are children, of course. Angel children. God knows that dogs love children more than anything else in the world, so He fills Dog Heaven with plenty of them. There are children on bikes and children on sleds. There are children throwing red rubber balls and children pulling kites through the clouds. The dogs are there, and the children love them dearly."
And because I know that Don's and my parents are grieving the loss of Malden as well, this is dedicated to them, especially Papa: (this is also from the book Dog Heaven) " And, oh, the dog biscuits. Biscuits and biscuits as far as the eye can see. God has a sense of humor, so He makes His biscuits in funny shapes for His dogs. There are kitty-cat biscuits and squirrel biscuits. Ice-cream biscuits and ham-sandwich biscuits." Everytime Don's parents come to visit, they have always brought at least one box of dog biscuits for the dogs but of course would always run out in the week's time they are here and would have to go buy more. Malden and Tino know Papa as the bearer of all good treats, and although Malden barks at every car that comes into our driveway, he would stop barking the moment he realized it was the treat man, which I find amazing since he only saw Don's Dad 1-2 times a year. And then there is my Mom who, most every time she comes over, brings biscuits for the dogs...Malden always knew when she had one more in her pocket and would sit obediently, though impatiently, at her feet for the last one.
To anybody who has ever loved a dog: "Dogs in Dog Heaven have almost always belonged to somebody on Earth and, of course, the dogs remember this. HEAVEN IS FULL OF MEMORIES. (That part made me cry) So sometimes an angel will walk a dog back to Earth for a little visit and quietly, invisibly, the dog will sniff about his old backyard, will investigate the cat next door, will follow the child to school (MOM...RUSTY), will sit on teh front porch and wait for the mail. When he is satified that all is well, the dog will return to Heaven with the angel. It is where dogs belong, near God who made them."
To anybody who has ever "rescued" a dog (I put it in quotations because they are really the ones who rescue us, just like I discussed with GB one day about the horses): "The dogs in Dog Heaven who had no real homes on Earth are given one in Heaven. The homes have yards and porches and there are couches to lie on and tables to sit under while angels eat their dinners. There are special bowls with the dogs' names on them. And each dog is petted and reminded how good he is, all day long. Dogs in Dog Heaven may stay as long as they like and this can mean forever. They will be there when old friends show up. THEY WILL BE THERE AT THE DOOR."

Thank you, thank you all for you patience with and prayers for me. Love, K

TRUST IN THE LORD

Just yesterday, shortly before leaving to attend the Temple, I read President Thomas S. Monson's closing talk from the April General Conference (see www.lds.org). A scripture he quoted is: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
When we are doing as He would have us do and when we are in the places He would have us be, we will be strengthened beyond our own abilities to bear up our burdens. Today my beloved Malden died. I have always said that I do not know what I would do when my dog passed away, and I always expected it to be Tino first. I am fortunate that I had the opportunity to grieve and not feel ashamed of my deep feelings: fortunately Don supports me in my heartache and understands a woman's need to cry and work out her feelings. I am grateful for my Mother who, having the same love of pets that I do, completely understands my feelings and knows that there are no words to make everything all better. In situations such as this, we have agreed that prayer is the best thing to do for somebody.
I have a song I want to share by Kutless, the same group who sings my song "What Faith Can Do". This song is titled "I'm Still Yours"

If you washed away my vanity

If you took away my words

If all my world was swept away

Would You be enough for me?

Would my beating heart still sing?

If I lost it all

Would my hands stay lifted

To the God who gives and takes away

If you take it all

This life You've given

Still my heart will sing to you

When my life is not what I expected

The plans I made have failed

When there's nothing left to steal me away

Will You be enough for me?

Will my broken heart still sing?

Even if you take it all away

You'll never let me go

Take it all away

But I still know...

That I'm Yours

I'm still Yours

I'm still Yours

Please, to all of you, keep D and myself in your prayers. Love and thanks, K

Happy Mother's Day to ALL women

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Although these wishes were started yesterday, I am publishing them a day late, but they are good for everyday of the entire year!!

This is in honor of my husband who gave me a Mother's Day card with the following printed on it, "I'm so blessed to have your love. When I think about the gifts we've been given- our home, our family, our life together...I feel so thankful- because I couldn't have been blessed with a more beautiful wife than you." Don truly treated me like a Queen yesterday, even more than usual.

This is in honor of both of our sons: "Before you were conceived I wanted you. Before you were born I loved you. Before you were here an hour I would die for you. This is the miracle of life."
-Maureen Hawkins

This is in honor of my Mother: "A mother is a woman who shows you the light when you just see the dark." -Grimaldos Robin

And this is in honor of all women everywhere: Married, single, with children, wanting to be pregnant, wanting to have more children, waiting to adopt a child, divorced, widowed, broken hearted, joyful: "As I come to understand the many talents and characteristics of women, I realize how needed their strengths are in this dispensation. We must remember that we are daughters of God here to provide nurturing care for one another, family and friends- loving care to soften the changes of life felt by all. What a great opportunity we have to fill our God-given role. He has given us the privilege to shape the lives of those entrusted to our care. Even those of us who have not been blessed to have children of our own can still be influential as trainers and nurturers. It does not matter where we live, whether we are rich or poor, whether our family is large or small. Each of us can share that Christ-like love in our 'motherly ministry.'" -Barbara Winder

Sometimes we all forget what certain times in our lives have felt like, and we forget to think of other women who may be going through the same feelings that we were or are or even feelings that we ourselves may never feel but can help to ease the burden of another by just listening. I remember how I felt when I parted with my two previous boyfriends, before meeting and marrying Don: my heart broken, wondering when it would be my turn to marry for eternity, and not have to give up the love I felt so deeply. I told Heavenly Father that I could not love so deeply again and be without that person, and He knew my heart and He blessed me with Don, the best man for me who He had prepared for me. I remember today how it felt to be without child and wanting to so much have a child: crying in Relief Society lessons because it hurt so bad. Although I cheered on my friends for having their own children, my heart hurt for myself. And then we were blessed. Today I remember how it felt to want a sibling for our first son: how I ached for days and months and years, going through emotional hell, knowing that there was a child missing for our family. And then Heavenly Father blessed us again through the decisions of a very loving Mother, Heidi.

I have leaned through these experiences to praise our Heavenly Father in the peaceful time full of blessings as well as in storms of life which are full of their own blessings that I sometimes cannot see. I have learned that I am NEVER alone: He always loves me, knows that I am beautiful and is mindful of me. I have learned to comfort those who are hurting and to pray for those, specefically who are hoping for a child, whether through their own pregnancy, adoption or otherwise. May we all pray for one another today. We are all Mothers: we create and teach and listen. We love.

Learning

Ok everyone: this is going to be an earful (or in the case of a blog, an eye full) of things I have learned in the past couple of weeks.
The following is from one of my favorite websites: www.myoneword.org "God is the only one who gives us the desires of our heart. By thinking our thoughts- by taking control of our minds- we go on the offensive against the enemy. This clarifies our perspective. Our struggles don't come about randomly or by coincidence. There is a purpose behind it an a natural path with a definite direction. The thoughts that trip us into temptation don't just randomly show up. They have points of origin. When we allow our thoughts to stay long enough to take root, they can then lead to great physical and emotional pain. Surrendering this thought is a declaration that you are seeking God as your source for life, fulness and joy. We do this through reflex thinking- when a thought creeps into our head, we capture it and surrender it over to God, regardless if it takes one time or a thousand to deal with it. Stack each thought up against your standard. It is not enough to eliminate your old system of thought- it must be replaced with a new system. This is why it is so crucial to understand what it means to bring every thought into obedience to Christ."
"Change will always be met with resistance. Maturity is found in those moments when we embrace the struggle by facing it head on. Our transformation is a process in which struggle is inevitable and resistance is expected. This struggle, this resistance, builds strength, but only when we surrender to God. God wants to meet us in the midst of our struggle."
All of those teachings are so beautiful and so meaningful. It is taking me some time to truly make them a part of my life, but the time I take to do so is time I would not change. We all have the time we need to do what our Heavenly Father would have us do. We can never really use the excuse "I didn't have time." What we really mean when we say those words is that we chose to do something else instead.
Here are some hilarious things I got to hear and laugh about this week. One morning when I was at D's school, a little boy came up to the secretary/nurse/knower of all things and lamented, "A bee stung me for no reason!" I did not laugh in his presence since I did not want to embarrass him, but it was SOOO FUNNY. I got to wondering if he had been stung by a bee before "for a reason." And everytime I have told the story this week, I laugh even more. How many of us have ever been stung for a reason?
This week at school was teacher appreciation week, and one day, I was cleaning up the teacher luncheon. I brought home a box that had had a cake in it, and M asked, "Are we goin' to sing Happy Birthday to the cake?" I never thought about it that way before, but to little children, it probably does seem like we are all singing to the cake, especially when it is all decked out with candles! So after opening the box, we sang happy birthday to the cake!

Love you all, thank you for your prayers, K

Praise You in This Storm

Here is another song I really like: it is by Casting Crowns. The lyrics, music and vocals are so powerful: check out the video. I am purposely leaving out the first few lines because they do not reflect how I ever feel.
Today as I sat in the car at D's school waiting for him to come out (I picked him up early because he has an ear infection and needed to go to the Doctor), it was actually raining outside and this song came on. As I drove home from the Temple tonight, I heard it again. I got to thinking how applicable it is to any of our issues. In particular, I was thinking of myself, CH and MS. CH and MS were just telling me inside the school about two friends who are going through some strenuous trials. I know that this song helps to heal as we realize that He is always with us. He ALWAYS understands....even women! (I can say that!) He truly holds our tears in His hands. He raises us up. He gives us strength when our hearts are torn.

Praise You in This Storm

...Once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I'll praise you in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

Every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

I remember when

I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry

You raised me up again

My strength is almost gone

How can I carry on

If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord

The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Back in the Saddle Again

Hi everyone!! HAPPY EARTH DAY!!!!!
Wow, it has been just over a week since I last wrote.
M said some hilarious stuff this morning that I had to share. He and I were visiting my Mom and Dad, and my Dad told him not to "pilfer" in his room. Dad asked M if he knew anybody named pilfer, and M said, "Yea, he works at my Daddy's Post Office." We all got a really good laugh out of that one, but the next one was even better. Dad asked M, "Is your refrigerator running?" (Remember that prank call?) With a totally straight face and only taking one second to formulate his answer, M responded "No, it doesn't have any legs!" Now we we were all rollling: that one is sure to stay in our memory banks for awhile as one of the top funnies!! Maybe I should start a comic strip: if only I were an artist. Oh well, I'm more content with the ability to write. Just imagine us laughing so hard it hurt!
Last night was D's Pinewood Derby: he had a really great time and proclaimed that his car was much better than the one he made last year, but that it was still the "ugliest car" in the race. We had some super Pinewood Derby officials who are convinced that we need a new track, considering the old one is from when they themselves raced in the Pinewood Derby almost 20 years ago!!! Anybody know how much those tracks cost?
Here are the amazing things I have read recently: "Our Father in Heaven has always known that we would grow and progress best in a telestial world rather than in a garden paradise...God allowed Satan to tempt Adam and Eve, all the while knowing that they would transgress and fall. Although they had to make this conscious choice for themselves, it was not against God's master plan or His wishes. Their fall wasn't down. Rather, as I have heard it expressed, they fell 'forward'...He (Christ) also took upon Himself our infirmities and sorrows. He provided a way for us to be consoled through every trial. He suffered alone so that we would never have to do the same. Through His Atonement all of us can be covered, helped, comforted, and ultimately embraced...Jesus covers us when we feel lost and discouraged. Christ referred to Himself as the 'light'. He doesn't always clear the path, but He does illuminate it. Along with being the light, He also lightens our loads. He doesn't always take burdens away from us, but He strengthens us for the task of carrying them and promises they will be for our good." Brad Wilcoox
"If we decline the Savior's invitation to let Him carry our sins, and then satisfy justice by ourselves, we will not yet have experienced the complete rehabilitation that can occur through a combination of divine assistance and genuine repentance. Working together, those forces have the power permanently to change our hearts and or lives, preparing us for celestial life." Bruce Hafen
Oh, KLOVE is finishing up their pledge drive today. They are a great radio station.
1-800-535-5683 (almost from memory). This is the station that introduced me to my song and to my song for Don.

Good to be back in the saddle again, K

Song For Don

I call this song Don's song. It is titled "Love Never Fails" by Brandon Heath.

Love is not proud

Love does not boast

Love after all

Matters the most

Love does not run

Love does not hide

Love does not keep

Locked inside

Love is the river that flows through

Love never fails you

Love will sustain

Love will provide

Love does not cease

At the end of time

Love will protect

Love always hopes

Love still believes

When you don't

Love is the arms that are holding you

Love never fails you

When my heart won't make a sound

When I can't turn back around

When the sky is falling down

Nothing is greater than this

Greater than this

Love is right here

Love is alive

Love is the way

The truth, the life

Love is the river that flows through

Love is the arms that are holding you

Love is the place you will fly to

Love never fails you.

Don is one of the most humble men that I know. He has become an amazing conversationalist and is willing to share the feelings of his heart with me. He holds me up when I am hurting and he provides very well for our family, helping us to realize our goals and dreams. When I have felt vulnerable and down, he has kept me going with his vision of what could be... pregnancy, adoption, home, callings, employment, personal goals. He is learning to let me fly and to understand the drives that I need to take sometimes. LOVE IS THE ARMS THAT ARE HOLDING YOU: there is nothing more to say about that line: he does. "When the sky is falling down" is a special tie to my song "What Faith Can Do." Love truly is right here and it is alive: it is the place I fly to that I know is safe and forgiving and good. It is what our Heavenly Father has given me: what I have been so blessed to live in this life and what I will be blessed with for ALL ETERNITY as we remain worthy and dedicatiated to the gospel of JESUS CHRIST.

Thank you Don for who you are, Katie

Back to school, chicken escape

I am adding a new idea to my blog which is to record awesome things I read so I can share them all with you.
Right now, M is sitting on my lap as I write, and a minute ago when our home page, http://www.lds.org/, came up, he saw the picture of Jesus and said, "Jesus"! When M first woke up, he was trying to get jackets off of a kitchen chair: which is his normal routine so that he can go get some candy, or thinks he can go get some candy. Because it is 6 in the morning, I told him he did not need a chair, but he surprised me when he said, "It is to help you make Daddy's lunch." That was so sweet!
Yesterday was D's first day back to school since Easter vacation, and things seemed to go pretty well. It has been raining for two days, so I felt bad for the teachers having to have rainy day recess the day after vacation. When D got home, the first thing he wanted to do was to check the chicken egg situation, so he went outside with the egg box that he designated as the collection box. A few minutes later, he came running in and said the chickens were out but that he had closed the gate and not let them out. I almost laughed, thinking to myself, "Hmmm...the chickens have been here for two days without an escape, and now they are suddenly out." I went outside and managed to herd two of the chickens back in, but the black one who I think will prove to be the ring leader, took off somewhere. I figured she would return later so D and I could get her in. When I came back in the house, I asked D what really happened with the chickens, and this time he told me that "maybe I forgot to close the gate." So we got to have a good discussion about always telling the truth: even when one thinks they will get in trouble. I praised him for coming to get me to let me know that the chickens had escaped. This story reminds me to thank JW for letting Don and I borrow Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson. And I just learned on the radio this morning that today is the release date of Bringing Up Girls.
So here are the amazing quotes from yesterday, which I really needed, since I was feeling broken. The song I kept thinking of yesterday was written by a Young Woman in our ward, TF, the name of the song is "Beautifully Broken". Anyway, from the Continuous Atonement "We have to let faith be an anchor for our souls (see Ether 12:4)...Just as Joseph Smith defined a true faith in God, I testify that a true faith in Christ is more than just knowing about Him or even believing He is divine. It is knowing that His Atonement is real, that its purpose is to transform us, and that it will be available as long as that perfecting process takes. We have a Savior who covers us, a Redeemer who changes us, and a Good Shepherd who is willing to go in search of us again and again - continuously." Then from a magazine article, " People show up out of nowhere and a whole life gets built up around them and through them, the pieces of time and adventures you share fitting in a kind of mosaic that evolves into some near-perfect shape that stays with you, outside of words, after they're gone." (Randall Osborne)

Have a day full of faith because what faith can do is amazing, K

Chickens!

We got three chickens on Saturday!!! The rest of them will hopefully come this week: their previous Mommy is having "fun" catching them. I am grateful for this new opportunity and almost excited as D that we got our first egg yesterday. I am thankful that we got to get the chickens while he was on Easter vacation because I wanted it to be really memorable for him: yesterday, he said, "Mom, can I go look and see if the chickens laid any eggs?" That is big for him, considering it was raining. When he found the egg, he came back in and said, "I want to do that everyday!" And of course his little brother was just a step behind him, learning all about how to collect eggs: that was really cute.
I am trying to write in the mornings now because in the evening, it takes time away from Don and I: it will be a little of a challenge overcoming the mental need to recap the currernt day instead of the previous day: I will just have to get better at logging the funny things so I can record them here. But here are some good funnies from over the past few days. D's very best friend, who I will call D2 got to spend the night on Thursday, and as we were driving in the car, he was telling D about a movie he had seen advertised and how the main guy in the movie seemed really angry and was yelling at other people. D2 said, "I'm surprised he didn't get sniped in the head!" Although boys sometimes talk about gross things and sick us out, you have to love the way they put things into words!!! Earlier that day, M and I were working in the yard and he was singing "Old MacDonald" with these words: "EIEIO...on that farm he had a BUG..." WOW that was funny: I wonder what noise he would give for a bug: I think I will ask him today.
D2 and his family moved into their new home this weekend: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Seeing others be so blessed brings such joy and reminds me of so many of my own blessings.
I have just started a book titled The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox (thanks Mom K), and I am really excited to begin a new learning chapter in my life. I finished the Five Love Languages last week and started another new book titled His Needs, Her Needs by William Harley (thanks Michelle). I have learned that books come into my life just when I need them. Thank you CL for the book you gave me this weekend: Twelve Extraordinary Women by John MacArthur: I really look forward to reading it. Love you!!
General Conference for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was held last Saturday and Sunday, having it on Easter Sunday was extra special. Check out www.lds.org for conference talks. I am so grateful to be appreciated as a woman and as a mother: a daughter of God. I am grateful that my husband and sons are taught to esteem, love and respect me. Our Heavenly Father is truly gracious to us in giving us families to love and learn from in this earth life. Thank you to all of my family and to our extended family for a wonderful time together on Saturday evening.

Love you all, K

Family Fieldtrip

My Mom, sisters and I, along with our children, take a yearly fieldtrip to a nearby amazing nursery where we purchase our garden plants for the season: tomatoes, peppers, herbs and my Mom's annual succulent selection. I always tend to purchase an incredible annual or bulb: this time I got a magnificent white rannucula: ES, my alomost Birthday and everything else twin loves them too!!! This time for our fieldtrip, two out of our four spouses were able to attend, and Mom invited our friends, BS and PS, who made the day that much more enjoyable. It was a beautiful sunny day. We walked along eating popcorn, looking at everything beautiful. Then I went to look at the tree section and found some Giant Sequoias I had been looking for, and unfortunately because they were rather tall, so was the price tag. So then I asked an employee if she knew where anymore smaller ones were, and she said she had no idea. At that moment I turned around, slightly disappointed, and in my Mom's hand, half a row down, was an affordable GIANT SEQUOIA: so amazing, considering she did not know I had seen the big ones earlier and did not know that I had just asked the employee about more. She did know however that I have been looking for one of those trees for months: she knows my heart: THANK YOU MOM! And to JM: I love it that we have the same shoes. MG: I love it that I have your car now!
I am so excited to get our chickens this week (hopefully) and also start our garden soon!!!
So I have a question: is it less expensive to pay late fees on two new movies, or is it less expensive to drive 20 miles (with the price of gas) to take them back and not have them be late?
MOM K: Thank you for your daily comments to my blog: I love hearing from you!

Goodnight all, Love K

Easter goodies

I received a lot of positive comments from yesterday's post: my favorite song. I hope it blesses all of your lives.
Today was the first two sessions of Genereal Conference: having M going back and forth between the pews at church, talking to the missionaries, shouting and laughing loudly reminded me of when D was that age...doing everything but playing quietly with his entire backpack of toys that he brought with him. It is a huge Bob the Builder backpack which he carries on his back: he got it when Gram and Papa were here last and he loves it!! JF asked us if we were staying for the second session, and I said, "No, we are going home to take a NAP!" Wow, I was worn out!
But then on the way home, we bought some chicken strips, potato wedges and cinnamon bears, so that was good, plus we got to share them. I need to remember to read Julie B Beck's talk, and Mom L said that Elder Holland's talk is wonderful. I will look forward to reading it also.
Today after our naps, we dyed Easter eggs: one of the awesomest things to do: no matter how many eggs we have, I always want to do more. Endless combinations!! Tonight when Don came home from the Priesthood Session of General Conference, we gave D and M their Easter baskets. Then we sat at the dinner table to eat and they were so excited about their goodies. I was opening M's Peeps, which are this vile/foul/weird color of green: has anyone else seen that color: the chick ones, not the bunnies? Anyway, as I was unwrapping it, I said, "Here are your peeps" and M said, "They not peeps, they are FROGS!" We all burst out laughing SOO hard for a few great minutes. Ha FROGS! Then later as he was eating them, he said, "These are really REALLY good: THANK YOU!!" He is so grateful for small things.
As we sat on Don's and my bed while the boys opened their Easter goodies, I watched them both with such joy hoping and praying that I am teaching them all they need to know for living by faith and with a firm testimony: teaching them the things that really matter in life: helping them to feel love from Don and I and to ultimately experience the love of Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. Teaching them to serve others. As someone said this week, the time with our children is so precious and goes so quickly. As I looked at D, I could hardly believe how much he has grown in the past year: he is so amazing and always very in tune with my feelings. As I have learned about the 5 love languages, I have realized that through the course of a person's life, their love languages can change, especially as children. Lately, D has been coming to sit close to me or stand right by me during prayer or even sit on my lap. I am so grateful for his desire to be close because he has never been one to enjoy a back rub and even as a baby, he did not want to be held for too long. This is a new step, convincing me that the best days of childhood are not over yet (I have always been convinced that my favorite ages are 3-5). How I love him and all he teaches me. How I love his persistence: he truly will make a wonderful police officer someday, and even sooner, a wonderful MISSIONARY!

My heart is healing, thank you all for your prayers, Love, K