Hello Everybody!! (Lesson 13)

I love the topics of study this week regarding in-law relationships and finances. Interestingly, both can cause a significant amount of stress or peace: depending upon our outlook, preparation, the choices of others, and coping strategies. I have been very blessed with very loving in-laws, whom I prefer to call "my husband's parents" since "in-laws" often has negative connotations. We have had a number of communication difficulties in the twenty years since my husband and I have been married, and I have come to realize that some things will never change, but overall we have come to understand one another. The most difficult times we had was when I was going through some severe emotional difficulties and had a hard time communicating in general. Our difficulties have mostly come in areas of child discipline and differences in the appropriateness of certain gifts.  

I find the advice given by J. Harper and S. Olsen in the article "Creating Healthy Ties With In-Laws and Extended Families" useful as couples strive to have closeness without being enmeshed with their families of origin. The authors suggest three things that couples can do: 1. express love to the parents    2. explain the need to strengthen their own marriage    3. explain that expectations of the parents are causing a less-strengthening environment. Obviously, these steps are most appropriately taken before somebody feels like blowing their top or becoming overly hostile or distant from their parents or in-laws. Taking these steps can overcome the hurdles that some couples face when even thinking of bringing up these delicate issues with loving and well-meaning family members.

Regarding effective finances, I have shared in this class previously, that my husband and I took the twelve week Personal Finance course as offered through the Self-Reliance program.  A couple of the most valuable things I learned in the self-reliance course were: "If we like luxuries or even necessities more than we like obedience, we will miss the blessings which He would like to give us." (President Spencer W. Kimball) "If there is any one thing that will bring peace and contentment into the human heart, and into the family, is to LIVE WITHIN OUR MEANS." (President Heber J. Grant, caps added) My husband and I have been taking these truths in to our lives and have seen miraculous differences in our finances and in the desires of our hearts regarding purchasing "stuff" and getting out of debt. I highly recommend the course to everybody even if you do not suffer from the weight of debt; there is so much more learning in the course than just debt management. How eternally thankful I am to our loving Father in Heaven for the direction He imparts and the care He has for all areas of our individual lives!

Wishing each of you a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a blessed New Year in addition to continued educational and testimony strengthening success!!!

Always,

Katie

Hello Everybody, (Lesson 12)

I am increasingly thankful for our Heavenly Father's teachings regarding unity in marriage and in the gospel. I find that as we are unified in marriage, callings, and in our personal relationship with our Heavenly Father, we have more peace and defined/inspired direction in our lives. I really need more peace and direction in my life as I strive to recover from the results of negative decisions I have made in the last few years. I am thankful for inspired revelation and for the opportunity I have to learn in regards to marriage and family. I am thankful to our loving Heavenly Father for the pattern He has set in how to live as families on earth and throughout the eternities. I am thankful for the very specific blessings and persons He has given me in this life to help me achieve my greatest goals. Heavenly Father is truly mindful of my individual needs, dreams, and goals; He loves me and KNOWS me.  

In Elder Eyring's article titled "That We May Be One", we learn, "We must see ourselves as His. We will put Him first in our lives. We will want what He wants rather than what we want or what the world teaches us to want." I was recently talking to a friend regarding Christmas and the stress she was feeling about providing a "good" Christmas for her children. She shared something valuable with me that she had recently heard regarding Christmas gifts. This advice is not for everybody, and certainly not everybody is able to or desires to give four gifts per child, but here is what she said: "Give children the gifts of: something... 

      1. they need

       2. they want

       3. to do

       4. to read"

As followers of Christ, we know that the true joy and meaning of Christmas is found in HIM. I do feel, however, that the list my friend shared with me is good advice about how we can work harder to focus less on what the world may want for us or our families....which is to focus on ourselves (item #2) instead of on others (#1,3,4).

Concerning unity, Elder Eyring shared, "A unity which comes to a family or to a people softened by the Spirit will bring great power." That is beautiful: "...SOFTENED by the Spirit." I can surely use some softening; I so often feel like a rough piece of gravel when what I desire to feel like is a beautifully smooth piece of marble, crafted by our Savior's teachings, personal repentance, and internal calm. I am truly blessed to bless others in the Savior's way when I seek for unity in my thoughts, words and actions. In my quest to find ways to Light the World, unity plays a huge role in finding ways to serve in the ways the Lord would have me to do which sometimes includes leaving my comfort zone to do HIS work in HIS way and to especially live in my family with a spirit of unity. 

May we all be blessed as we strive to achieve unity with our Savior and with our fellow man,

Katie